‘I’ll tell you why, I do like Maunday’ at the Death Cafe in Lewisham

BY CALUM FRASER
calum@slpmedia.co.uk

Francis Gardom already had a lot on his plate when he set up the Death Cafe in Lewisham three years ago.

At 84, he runs a charity providing sanitary towels for schoolgirls who have lost their parents to Aids in Kenya, has been a priest at St Stephen’s in Lewisham for 50 years, and every month he patrols the streets with the Christian charity Street Pastors to help vulnerable people.

The Queen recognised his contributions to the community at the Royal Maundy service in St George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle on Maundy Thursday – the Thursday before Easter.

Francis and his son Mike attended the service and received two purses, one red and one white, of money from the Queen in a ceremony that dates back to 1210.

Francis said: “It was a great occasion. Nobody felt out of place.

“Some people had come from very ordinary backgrounds, but they had been doing quite extraordinary things quietly and unobtrusively over the years.

“It was very beautifully done.”

The purses contain minted Maundy money of one, two, three and four silver penny pieces. Francis was one of the only invitees who attended the ceremony dressed in his work clothes as he wore his Street Pastor uniform.

He became a Street Pastor in the 1980s after he retired from service as a special constable. The pastors patrol the streets of Lewisham at night in groups of six, offering a helping hand to anyone in need.

He said: “We don’t arrest people. We’re there to help.

“Some of the time people engage us in conversations about religion and try to tell us what is wrong with the Christian faith. But we’re not there to preach or be directive.

“We give people those shiny aluminium bags if they are cold and we supply flip flops to girls whose high heels have nearly killed them.”

Francis also helps women in more desperate situations than painful high heels. He provides sanitary towels to imprisoned women in Zambia.

Francis said: “We heard of women in prison who were punished by having their sanitary towels taken away. As you can imagine, it must be very unpleasant and unhygienic for them.

“I decided to help them with this. I contacted the prison and we now supply those women.

“It felt like a manageable thing to do and it would make all the difference to them.”

Then on a visit to Kenya in 2013 he met Mercy Onyango. Mercy runs a group of schools for orphaned girls, many of whom have lost their parents to HIV.

She told him that the girls would not come to school when they were on their periods because they didn’t have sanitary towels. He teamed up with Mercy and set up the charity Sanitary Towels and Menstruation (Stamens), which now provides thousands of sanitary towels for girls.

Francis had five sons and one daughter with his wife Anne Gardom, who passed away in 2013. He said: “It had quite an impact on me. I loved my wife very much.

“People seem to shy away from even thinking about death or talking about it and it closes any
conversation you may care to start.”

He came across an article about  Death Cafes where strangers meet up for coffee to discuss death. This pricked his imagination and he set up a branch in Lewisham in November 2015. They now meet every month at the Costa Coffee in Catford to discuss death.

He said: “It’s quite popular. People want a place they can openly talk about death and dying.

“It’s not a bereavement counselling service though. It’s there to talk about the subject as a whole. I’m just always curious. I don’t think you’re ever too old to try something new.”